This is not like my normal post, sweet and short. So settle in and get cozy.
This race day recap (and yes I’m doing the whole day and not just the race) is the perfect display of beautiful and messy.
To set the stage, it was my daughter’s birthday this week.
If you are a parent of young ones, you get how much this means to the household.
The week had it’s usual agenda + me working in the hospital + birthday prep + family late night events + more birthday prep and activity. To say I was exhausted before race day even began is an understatement.
What are some of the number one rules of race week? 1. Sleep. 2. Food. 3. Hydration.
I will admit I did not win any of these agendas.
Because life got crazier than I anticipated in the few months leading up to race day, I had to change my goals a few times. I started with the idea of kicking some 10k ass. Of training with a solid amount of consistency and speed. But then life stepped in and this did not happen. I settled for the idea of enjoying a 10k and just seeing what I could do, day of. But I'm also super self-competitive, so this statement is always with a little grain of salt.
Because of this I will admit I did not prepare in any sense the way that I should have. Friday night (before the race) I started gathering the items I would need the next morning at like 10pm. Not my best plan.
When my alarm clock went off Saturday morning I was not ready. But I got out of bed, made some coffee, put on the clothes I had set out and headed out the door. A few minutes after I had planned, but I had all the things I needed, so all good.
As I entered the city I could already feel and see the excitement of race day. It has its own special vibe that I love. People supporting people. People tackling their goals. Being that this is my first race as a coach, I really took in each person I saw, thought about their journey and what this day meant for them.
I was not concerned about parking and port-a-potty stuff because I ran the half at the same running festival last year and there were port a potties all along the parking lot. So when I parked this time and saw no port a potties in sight I got a little nervous. My usual plan is park, go to the bathroom, go back to my car to get all situated and then head to the start line. Because there were no port a pots I ended up waiting in a ridiculously long line and only made it into the actual bathroom at 7:54. The race started at 8.
So yeah.
I then actually ran to the start line and was there about a minute before kick off. So, off I go. My HR was already up from being nervous about not making it to the start on time and from running to the start. Then most of mile 1-2 was uphill. Fortunately I knew these miles would be uphill, but unfortunately I was not quite prepared in the minutes leading up to the start of the race.
However, the race course went up the exact street that I drive to park for work at the hospital. I got to run by the hospital and give a little wave. Which gave me a smile.
As I went farther north we entered a part of the city that reminds you of the dichotomy of Baltimore. It did not take long for the scenery to turn to boarded up row homes with broken windows and graffiti. As I was running I could not help but take a moment to breathe in that unfairness. As someone who works in the hospital and has seen the population up close and personal, I could feel it in the air. I looked around at myself and all of the other runners who are lucky enough to have the ability to even be doing something like this. I started to wonder what could happen if instead of everyone getting a race shirt, money was given back to the community that hosts us.
As I hit mile 2 I was already on the struggle bus. I knew that my lack of sleep, nutrition and hydration would be a struggle, but I didn’t realize just how much. I was already tired, not hitting the times I secretly wanted, and had a long way to go. As I continued to run I did not see the mile markers for mile 3 or 4 and felt a little lost without knowing exactly where I was. Of course I had my watch on, but I honestly stopped looking at it because I knew I was pushing as hard as I could on this day in these moments and that looking at my watch would not change my pace.
As I continued to struggle I used the phrase “You’ve got this” over and over. I learned that studies show using “you” instead of “I” actually makes a difference. I kept wanting to take pictures of the city, but I didn’t have the energy to get my phone out and hold it. When I finally hit mile 5 I thought about stopping. My body was so tired and this was so hard. And for what? I had an entire thought process going on about if I stopped no one would know and it wouldn’t matter and why am I hurting myself over this? But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stop (read: slow down from full effort). Mile 5 included a hill that I had not prepared for and I cursed it all.
As mile 6 hit and I could see the finish line around the corner I urged myself to just keep moving. That finish line felt so far away. But somehow, I crossed it. I smiled. I reached by realistic time goal of the day. It was not easy, but I also gave it my all. I knew my training was in me somewhere, and while I might not have hit the A goal I set out for way back when, I hit all the other goals. And that is something. So, another challenge that I completed.
Another thing to add to my long list of things (both physical and not) that my legs have carried me through.
Phewph. I found my friend, who crushed her race (story for a different blog post), two of my other athletes who ran. I cheered off the half marathoners, and then walked back to my car in the freezing rain. I did not hydrate or eat well in the hour immediately following the race. Again, a mistake I knew I would pay for, but also couldn’t fix in that moment. Messy.
I came home, showered and immediately left to take my girls to dance class. As I was sitting there at dance my head started to hurt. But alas, stepping right back into motherhood we had to go straight from dance to costco to get the final items for my daughters birthday party that was in just a few hours. As we got to the store I started not being able to think straight, my head hurt so badly. Then my stomach. I'm not sure how I made it through the store and back home, but I texted my husband from the traffic light before our neighborhood to warn him that I would immediately get out of the car and go up to our room and he would have to empty the car, groceries, kids and all.
As I was laying there in my bed realizing I was having a migraine, I texted a friend to bring me some excedrine to get me through the party. When she showed up at my door I was a hot freaking mess. I was in a tiny tank top, some pajama shorts, my hair all over the place, I was shaking so much I couldn’t open the medicine, and I was frantically hanging fairy lights and trying to set up for the party. She looked at me, sent me upstairs to get dressed, and took over entertaining my kids. (My husband was out picking up the chick fil a nugget tray).
Thank the stars the medicine finally kicked in and we had a fabulous fairy birthday party!
Needless to say… I am so grateful that my body made it through the race. I am so grateful that I was able to push through and show myself that I could reach my goals. I am so grateful that I have a village who stepped right in with love and support. I am so grateful that I have my munchkins in this world with me and that we got to celebrate my middle little. It was a FULL ON DAY of the exact intersection of beautiful, messy, runner, and mother.
Word on the street is that I scared you all with this recap haha. Check out the follow-up post on What I Would Do Different, And What I wouldn't.
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